The first step to a new YOU!

The first step to a new you is to make your choice. It’s that easy! Choose to change. Adopt an attitude of success. Have faith. The only one that can take this first step is you.

 Taking the first step is usually the most difficult step. Making your choice to change your life from the comfort-zone of the known to the adventure of the unknown is daunting for most of us. But one thing is for certain: unless we choose our future, our future will choose us!

 Over the years I have been using a simple symbol as a blueprint for planning: the mandala. As you may know, a ‘mandala’ is a symbol used in many cultures: a circle divided by an equal-sided cross. I’ve always loved the interpretation of this symbol as being a symbol of eternal perfection – the ultimate goal. The circle with no end and no beginning symbolizes eternity. The equal-sided cross inside is synonymous with perfection.

 When I teach the unemployed youth I work with I use the body as a way to remember the significance of the mandala. I stand up, legs together and arms outstretched to either side to form a cross. I ask them to imagine a circle around my body. Then I point out the meaning of the mandala:

• The feet – that is the bottom of the cross – represent our body. This includes our health, our roots, our culture and our family.
• The left hand, closest to the heart, represents our emotions. This further involves our relationships to others, our attitude, as well as our contribution to society and our own community.
• The right hand, which most people use as their ‘main hand’ symbolizes our mind: our creative ability, our means to earn a living, everything that has to do with making money and finance.
• The head refers to our spirit – it is our connection to God, to whom we can communicate in prayer and rely on in faith. Spirit is also about leadership, vision, inspiration and motivation. I always point out ti these young people, that the fact that the neck is so short relative to our arms and legs should serve as a constant reminder that we cannot truly be successful and content as human beings if we are not connected to God. It is through this connection that we are able to fulfil our true purpose in life.

 The message of the mandala is that, if we want to live truly happy and successful lifes, we need to ensure that all four areas – body, emotions, mind and spirit – are in balance. This is what we constantly need to strive for. While it seldomly happens that all four are in harmony, if we want a balanced life, we need to work towards that perfection.

 In making your choices about the life you want, use the mandala as a guiding pattern. Take a piece of paper and divide it with a horizontal and vertical line into four equal sections. Now place the headings ‘Spirit’, ‘Mind’, ‘Emotion’  and ‘Body’ from left to right at the top of each section.

 The next step in your personal planning process is to brainstorm the things you want to achieve or change or simply want to continue growing under each of the four sections. For instance, under ‘Spirit’ you might write ‘Make time every day for prayer’, and so on.

 If you want to, you can also start this exercise by listing all the things, habits or people that are already important to you under each heading and taking a moment to consider this in a spirit of thanksgiving!

 Similarly, if you don’t know what you should choose, it may be helpful to take another piece of paper and write down the things, circumstances, habits or people that you believe are having a negative impact on your life and then, on a new sheet, translating each of those into a positive course of action. For instance, if under ‘Body’ you have noted a tense relationship with your mother, on the new sheet you could list one thing you could do to improve that relationship or deal with the situation better.

 This simple technique of writing down your choices can really help prepare you towards creating the life you want and fulfilling the dreams you have.

Of course, as a person with faith in Christ, you will want to place your dreams under His will. In order to be reminded of this continually, I generally draw a cross in the middle of the two lines crossing at the centre of the mandala. This serves as a reminder that, by placing Christ at the centre of our lives, we 'straighten out' any imbalance and are so much stronger.

Interestingly enough, the symbol that Martin Luther designed to summarize his' life's philosophy is known as the "Luther Rose' and is  in the form of a mandala.

Click here to read his interpretation of the 'Luther Rose' in Luther's personal words.

Enough is Enough

Enough is enough. At some point in life, each one of us achieves a point of ‘enough is enough’! This is the point of Zero Tolerance which forces us to take a decision about changing our life. Have you reached that point yet?

I did. A couple of months ago. Up to that point I had very much given up control of my life to external circumstances. I was treating ‘life’ as if it were the ‘master’ and I was its ‘servant’: jumping to address every issue that came my way, regardless of what I was busy with at the moment or what I had planned to do during that time. If this is the state of life you are finding yourself in, listen to me: having what Stephen Covey calls the ‘locus of control’ of your life outside of you, will turn you into the play ball of circumstance. And at the end of it all you will be standing with nothing in your mind except excuses. Excuses, why you’re dead broke. Excuses, why your relationships didn’t work out. Excuses, why you have a terribly flabby and unhealthy body. Excuses, why you’re faced with a mountain of debt. Excuses, why you never learnt to keep time. Excuses, why you never found your destiny nor fulfilled your potential. Like an abused woman that always returns to her abuser, letting ‘life’ or circumstance dictate your response is the surest way of all-round self-destruction.

Becoming aware of this behaviour is especially important for us as women: we are often raised to believe that we are, in fact, the ‘lesser gender’. Our men and our children are always put first. And if we don’t have a man or children, we are often made to believe that we are selfish and as a result respond to this criticism by going over the top in serving others around us. It’s time for all of us women to adopt the mindset of a ‘Reine de la Rose’- a Rose Queen. A ‘Reine de la Rose’ knows her worth, her self-worth. And knows that her time is her greatest asset, to be spent wisely in order to achieve all the various dreams she has decided to follow.

Make a choice to adopt the attitude of a ‘Reine de la Rose’ today: take your power back and make sure that the ‘Locus of Control’ is inside you – not driven by an external force. Choose today to become the ‘master’ of your own life and use life and circumstance as your ‘servant’ towards creating a world of more love, greater beauty and abundance for all.

God has given us humans three critical levers of control with which to steer our lives:

• Choice – our life is a sequence of behavioural choices – actions and consequences. As a Reine de la Rose, you will always have a compass to help guide you in your choices. This compass is a simple question:”Will the choice I make now help to create a world of more love, beauty and abundance or not?” The answer should be your guiding light.

• Attitude – no matter what the circumstance, we can always choose our attitude towards that circumstance. I learnt this far too late in life! While I’ve been generally blessed with a positive attitude and outlook on life, I never realized that I can choose my attitude every morning in the way I choose my outfit for the day – and how, even in the course of the day I can CHOOSE my attitude in how to respond to circumstances or events. I don’t have to have a knee-jerk reaction! The power in this particular choice is incredible.

• Faith – the ability to believe, against all odds, that things will always turn to the better for those who believe in Him. At some point in my life I decided on my position with regard to faith: either I believe there is a God, and then act as if there were one; or I choose to believe that there is none, and then act accordingly. To say that we believe in God, and then act as if He doesn’t exist simpy doesn’t cut it. As a Reine de la Rose you must create a sense of clarity about who you are, what you believe in and what you stand for. There is no space for ambiguity. Doubt, on occasion, is human. But even then, if you want to be a true ‘Queen,’ choose faith.

If we want to change our life, we need to change our behaviour, we need to adopt a positive attitude regardless of circumstance and we need to focus on growing our faith in God.

But then the question is: what do you want to change your life TO?

Usually, it is easier for us to decide what don't we want, than what we do want. Here are some helpful directions to guide you towards what you want.

1. Decide on your ‘Zero Tolerance’ issues: what own behaviours are you no longer willing to accept in your life?

2. Think about choices that you are facing in life at this point in time and test them against the critical question: “Will this choice help me to create a life and contribute to a world of love, beauty and abundance?” Only make choices that will help you to achieve this goal.

3. From today onwards, become aware of your attitude and choose a positive attitude, every day, like you would brush your teeth or apply your moisturizer or make-up (or shave, if you're a guy) every day, without fail.

4. Choose to have Faith – even if you cannot yet see the way or the bigger picture or have no personal vision, have faith that if you ask God everyday He will show it to you clearly, when you’re ready for it!

PS: For those of you who are living in Pretoria and need some 'quiet time' while thinking through these questions, allow yourself a restoring body treatment at the brand new 'Reine de la Rose Eco.Spa' in Muckleneuk on the hill. For more information, visit our website at http://www.reinedelarose.co.za

Are you running on empty?

‘Running on empty’ – these words have been echoing in my mind for longer than I care to remember. At least a couple of years now I had been feeling like my life is a car that is barely moving ahead, because the fuel tank is always close to empty! ‘Running on empty’ is how I could describe almost all areas of my life at one stage: no time for my loved ones; no money to keep even the basic needs covered; no regular income and when it comes, it disappears simply too fast; you may live from paycheck to paycheck and have the same feeling!

Running on empty means you have an increasing mountain of debt that seems impossible to overcome; you’re so tired that you’re getting up in the mornings feeling as if you should go right back to bed, because all your energy is depleted. And then the house: everything seems to break down, just when you’ve fixed it! And the family: just when you thought things were humming along nicely, another personal drama strikes and you don’t have the time or the energy to deal with it! And your health is just not what it should be: you seem to catch every virus that makes its rounds in your neighbourhood and are challenged with an endless stream of minor infections that just serve to irritate you and keep you in the doldrums. All in all, yes, you’re simply running on empty.

Is this really what life is meant to be about? Dragging your feet through the mud of everyday existence?

Surely, after having lived for thousands of years, humankind must have ‘seen the light’ and found some knowledge and tools to ‘tune up’ our bodies and enlighten our minds?

Well, here’s the good news: never before in the life of humankind has there been so much knowledge and such incredible technology to help us lead the best lives we can ever imagine!
This is not a science fiction story: all this knowledge and all this technology is available now, and at a minimal cost too. In fact, as the Internet and other technology evolves, it will become possible for every human on earth to have access to this knowledge and to this technology.

So why are so many of us women waiting for better days, when in fact, we already have everything we need to create our own lives as ‘Rose Queens’, as a ‘Reine de la Rose’?

I am one of the privileged women, who has ‘had it all’ at some point in her life. I had the privilege of University education. I had the privilege of travelling, living and working overseas in very interesting countries. I have a wonderful man in my life, a ‘dream husband’. Over the years I’ve had the opportunity to meet and work with some of the top leaders in our country. I have an ‘extended family’ of children and youth that form part of my life. I’ve always managed to find work or create own businesses that have been both creatively and financially fulfilling.

The only thing I’ve never had is true ‘control’ of my life: my time, my energy, my emotions and my money – all of these things always seemed to be directed by external factors. Clients that demanded immediate attention, regardless of what I was doing. Employees and clients that sapped my energy, because of either them not meeting my expectations or me not meeting theirs. Associates that really put me in the doldrums because of the fact that we had no shared vision or values. And bookkeepers and accountants who never really had my financial interest at heart, making neglectful errors that have cost me literally thousands in taxes and fines.

So, despite the fact that on the surface I’ve been living an exceptional life, my health started suffering because I was constantly running on empty!

Then, during the past year, I felt as if this ‘house of cards’ was coming down. I had to deal with an incredible amount of stress, related to a difficult working relationship, which had been a huge disappointment. Just when that was starting to become resolved, I lost my only consulting client overnight. This eventually led to me having to lay-off my whole team of employees. On top of it, the financial impact of this situation caused me to have to run into terrible debt.

I must confess that it took me a couple of months to get my head around this situation, especially because I was just constantly forced back into bed with flu and fever. But this, really, was also my ‘saving grace’: I’ve always had my best ideas in a horizontal position, half-awake, half-asleep…

My husband, Nico, was quite amazing during his time. We both were affected financially through this whole situation, but instead of pressurizing me to go out and look for new consulting contracts, he took charge of the ‘little things’ like the household and practically spoiled me back to health, bringing endless cups of South Africa’s national drink – Rooibos Tea. While he was also shocked by the sudden disastrous state of our affairs, he simply expressed his continuing faith in my ability to eventually ‘get it all together’again.

I didn’t know yet what exactly to do, but I did know that I was NOT going to try and rebuild the life I had, because it was that life that had brought me to this unhappy state. The words that were guiding me in this is the saying I’d read somewhere of some wise person who said: “The definition of insanity is continuing with the same behaviour and expecting different results!”

Initially, my mind was only able to think about what I DIDN'T want.

But I just kept on praying and one day I knew exactly WHAT I WANT.

Now the reason I am telling you all of this is because I want you to know that no matter what your life situation, you can change around your life from running on empty to a life of love, beauty and abundance. Whatever your dreams, you can turn them into goals. Whatever your goals, you can turn them into results. Whatever your results, you can turn them into success.

When God allows us to hit rock-bottom, it is only because He already has put in motion a plan of helping us to help ourselves to get out of the situation, while lifting up others in the process. That is our true purpose: love one another, help one another. In doing that we can all shape our world to a place of love, beauty and abundance.

So today, sit down and write down all the things that you DON'T like about your life, including your body, your family, your general situation. And then draw comfort in the fact that you WILL change all of this. One day at a time.

I'll help guide you along the way, using my own personal experiences. And if I can do it, so can you!

 ’Our greatest work is working on ourselves’- Anonymous

Woman - YOU are 'Reine de la Rose'

Woman, YOU are ‘Reine de la Rose’

‘Reine de la Rose’- Queen of the Rose.

I received this name in my mind more than 10 years ago already. At the time I thought it would be a great brand name for a fashion and home décor range. It was one of those ‘one day’ ideas: one day I would start an own fashion and home décor business, working from my favourite little town of Wakkerstroom, in the Mpumalanga mountains of South Africa, overlooking the Wetlands Reserve, while visitors from all over the world made the trip to Wakkerstroom especially to stock up on their very own, precious and luxurious ‘Reine de la Rose’ fashion and home décor items, flowing from my inspiration…

It is a lovely dream, but has very little to do with the reality of the life that I’ve been living since the words first arrived in my consciousness.  But in 2009 I realized that ‘Reine de la Rose’ is not about things! Well, not only about things. Instead, ‘Reine de la Rose’ is about a mindset that we women standing at the entrance to the 21^stCentury need, in order to shape our own world of love, beauty and abundance.
You and I and every single other woman on earth deserve to be treated like a Queen, now more than ever. When God created woman, she was the ‘crown’ of His creation: the very cherry on top! Now, thousands of years later, human beings have evolved and developed to what we are today. In a sense, each one of us alive on Earth at this beginning of the 21^st Century is the summary of the best human genetic material and strongest survival instincts, the highest intellects and the most knowledge developed over all these thousands of years, ever since Eve first opened her eyes. And with society and the economy changing, women in particular have more opportunities now than never before. But, as you may well have learnt by now: opportunity brings with it responsibility. You and I and every single other woman on earth has one main purpose: to create love, beauty and abundance. Rediscover the inspirational words in the Bible, Proverbs 31, v. 10-31 and you will understand what I mean.
Too many women, myself included, have been misled by the myth of ‘gender equality’. We’ve been ‘playing with the boys’. And some of us have become very good at that. But the fact is, we are different to men: equally worthy, equally intelligent, equally gifted. But the key difference is that we bear children: the asset of our collective futures. And even if we do not have a child of our own, we have the gift to create life: through love, through beauty and through abundance. This is what our focus should be!
Let us strive to become masters of our own destinies – not like men, but like ‘Queens’: loving, beautiful and through creating and sharing abundance.
With these words, I offer you the ‘mental Crown’ of the Rose Queen: from today, YOU are ‘Reine de la Rose’.
The rose is a symbol of love. Accept love for yourself. Grow love within your family. Share love in your community.
The rose is also a symbol of beauty. Radiate your own inner beauty. Help your family discover the beauty of everyday life. Create beauty within your community.
Red is the colour of blood, of life. Red is also the colour of energy and abundance. Bring more red into your life. Energize your home with the colour red. Communicate with others and grow your sphere of influence through using the colour red.
A Queen is a symbol of dignity, nobility and power. Master your life through making choices as if they matter! Master your time: it is the most precious non-renewable resource you’ve been given by God. Master your energy: learn how to optimize your health so that you may enjoy life to the full! Master your wealth: become a model of abundance and generosity. And, of course, master your emotions: in them lies the key to your unlimited success.
Accept this Crown. And with it the responsibility of your first Term of Office.
Don’t be overwhelmed: To guide you on your way, I have put together a 100 Day Strategy for you. And then we’ll take the next step together.
Now, if you are like many other women, you enjoy doing things together with others. So mobilize your friends and invite each one of them to also accept the ‘Crown’ of the Reine de la Rose. Accompanying one another will help you to all grow in royalty and dignity, while walking – step-by-step – towards your own Dream Goals.
For those of you who are interested in a more 'practical' way of sharing love, creating beauty and increasing abundance, have a look at my website at the link below. Can't wait to hear from you!

Reine de la Rose Eco.Spa Wellness & Aesthetics Clinic